As Stupid As Me
by HPsmartone32
Summary: Everyone makes mistakes. It’s our human nature, or something we all do it. But I’m prepared to bet that no one else has made as big of a mistake that I have. First, I let my only love walk away from me. Then, worse, i married someone else. DH SPOILERS!
1. Chapter 1

**As Stupid As Me**

**  
Summary: **Everyone makes mistakes. It's our human nature, or something; we all do it. But I'm prepared to bet that no one else has made as big of a mistake that I have. First, I let the only man that I will ever love walk away from me. Now, some of you out there might have taken that first incompetent step, and if you have, I am sorry. Yet, I have done even worse than that; I married another man – one who I love – but not with a love that comes anywhere near to the love I had, and still have, for Him. If anyone else has done that, well, you just might be as stupid as me.**  
**

**Chapter One: Comfort**

I'm supposed to be the clever one. Really, I am. I know what you're thinking though, how can anyone with half a brain do what I did? Well, that, I cannot answer. I have asked myself many times, but I have never answered it. In fact, that is the very thing that I am thinking right now.

As I lie in bed next to my husband, Viktor.

Again, I know what you are thinking, what kind of person lies next to a husband who would do anything for them and asks themselves why they did the stupid thing that led them there?

I do have an answer for that one: me.

Hermione Jean Granger, well, for about a year it's been Hermione Jean Granger Krum.

I feel the bed bounce gently as Viktor turns over. He sleepily swings his arm around my waist. He's been asleep for a while; I know that probably any other wife, girlfriend, etc. would find this unconscious gesture sweet but I really don't. My heart doesn't skip a beat or any of that romantic stuff people hear and tell about.

Don't get me wrong, I like my husband. If I didn't I wouldn't have married him. The problem is, as much as I like Viktor, I was in love with Him.

Who is He? He is Ronald Weasley, and He is probably the only man that I will ever love this much. Loving Him was as natural as morphing is to Teddy. With Viktor, sometimes I feel like it's a bit forced.

I do still spend time with the Weasley's; after all that we have been through together, how could I not? The war was only four years in the past. Besides, I didn't leave that family when He left, nor when I married Viktor; in fact, most of the Weasley's attended the extravagant wedding. I still see Ginny and Harry and George and even Teddy often. Teddy's four now, and Bill and Fleur had their first child, Victoire. They're so precious. And I just love the way they say, "Auntie 'Mione."

Though it sometimes hurts to be around them, I usually go to a "family" dinner with the Weasley's when Viktor is on tour – not because I'm embarrassed of him – but because it's so awkward to bring him into the other world I almost married into. Almost.

Why am I thinking about this so much? Well I usually think about it enough, but at this time of the year, June 13th to be exact, I think about it a lot more. Right now it is eleven on the 12th, and I'm awake. I always am. You see, the 13th was the day that He left. That our wonderful relationship ended. So, you might be able to understand why the month of June kind of sucks for me. This month, oh, and March. His birthday.

I sigh as I turn to my other side to face my husband, push my long bushy hair out of my face. Maybe if I close my eyes I'll eventually fall asleep.

"_Do you like the place?" Ron asked as he twisted his napkin nervously in his hands. The couple had just finished their delicious meals._

"_I love it, Ron," Hermione replied. The place was beautiful, to say the least. There was red-carpeted floor, nice black marble tables, dimmed lights, and mood music playing in the background, "Really." She reached her hand out halfway across the table. Ron met it and engulfed her hand in his warm one. They had been dating for a year, ever since the kiss in the Room of Requirement, as they claimed. _

"_So," Hermione started, "are you going to tell me your big news now or am I going to have to guess?"_

_Ron smiled, "Either way would be fun. I say you guess."_

"_Your pregnant!" Hermione guessed._

_Ron rolled his eyes, "Hermione."_

"_Fine," Hermione chuckled, "Let's see. You and George have a new product?"_

"_No."_

"_You're opening a new shop?"_

"_No. Wrong job." Ron hinted as he gave Hermione's hand a squeeze._

"_Your Ministry job? You got a promotion! Oh, Ron!" Hermione gasped._

_Ron nodded proudly, "But don't get to excited yet. There's more."_

"_What?" Hermione asked, grinning._

"_I have to go to Scotland." Ron told her._

_Hermione's frown faded, "What?"_

"_I know, it's a shock. I have to go to help Scotland's Ministry with their auror system. They wanted three people, it's such a high honor, and they picked me! Hermione, they picked me!" Ron whispered excitedly._

"_How long?" was all Hermione could say._

"_I leave in a week, and I'm not sure how long I'll be there, probably a little over a year or so," Ron told her, "What's wrong?" he asked when he realized she wasn't smiling._

"_You're leaving for a year? And you ask me, your girlfriend, what's wrong?" Hermione asked tears threatening o fall._

_Ron smiled again, "You idiot, I want you to come with me!"_

"_What?" Hermione asked again, in surprise._

"_Hermione," Ron started, "I- I love you, I always have and you know this now," he got out of his chair and knelt in front of her on one knee, "'Mione, will you marry me?" he popped open a velvet box that held a small diamond ring._

_Hermione was in shock. Complete and utter shock, "R-Ron!" she gasped, "I-I don't kn-know!" she stuttered._

_Now it was Ron's turn to frown, "What?"_

"_I can't just up and leave for Scotland! My whole life is here, Ron!" Hermione cried._

"_You can apparate or floo to your job and family and friends!" Ron explained._

"_But owls, simple letters, will take forever!" Hermione told him, "And it just won't be the same! Why can't you stay here and go to them?"_

"_They need me to be in Scotland the whole time." Ron mumbled, somewhat confused and hurt._

"_Ron."_

"_Hermione," Ron croaked, "I love you. You have to come with me."_

"_I-I love you too, Ron! You know this. But… but I can't just go with you." The tears began to fall, they left small stains of sadness on her satin dress robes._

"_I'd go if it were you," Ron whispered, heartbroken, as he stood up and snapped the box with the ring shut._

"_Ron, I want to, but you know I'm not a spontaneous person!" Hermione pleaded._

"_Forget it, if you don't want to marry me, I'll just go. Bye, Hermione." Ron set the payment for the dinner down on the table and walked out of the restaurant._

"_Ron, please," Hermione begged as she followed him into the rain that was pouring outside._

"_I'll always love you, Hermione. I wish you'd said yes." Ron said then turned and was gone. Hermione fell to her knees and put her head in her hands, "I'll always love you, Ronald." She sobbed to no one._

I woke with a start._Damn_, I hated that dream. That night was the worse of my life. It was a night that haunted me. It was the night that took place nearly three years ago today.

I turned my head to read the clock, four-thirty. Great, three more hours until Viktor would be up to distract me from these horrid memories. Luckily, I didn't have to go in to work today; it was Friday – the one weekday I was off.

I slowly climbed out of bed so I wouldn't wake my husband. I needed some water or Firewhiskey or something.

Just kidding about the Firewhiskey. It's four in the morning and I don't drink, except Butterbeer.

"Something vong, Hermione?" Viktor mumbled.

"Nothing, I just need some water,'" I tell him. He nods, turned over and goes back to sleep. I make my way down the hallway, stairs, and into the kitchen.

Viktor and I have a nice home. It was neat and big, yet it didn't have that home-y feeling that I longed for. I open the fridge and pull out the pitcher of purified water. Walking to get a cup, my mind wondered back to that night, as it did after I had that dream.

Merlin, I wish that memory would just go away. Where's a pensive when you need one, eh?

As I sit at the small kitchen bar-like counter with my water, I try with no success to keep the memories from attacking me again.

_Knock, knock._

_Ginny opened the door, my dress robes were soaked and I was chilled to the bone. I knew my mascara was running down my face from both rain and tears. _

"_Hermione!" Ginny gasped, "What happened?"_

"_R-R-Ron!" I sobbed as I collapsed to the floor of the hallway again._

_Ginny's face fell even more, "Oh, 'Mione," she sighed, "Here, here, up you get." Ginny bent over, gently slipped her arm under mine, and hoisted me up to my feet. Ginny led me to her couch and sat down beside me._

"_What happened?" Ginny asked softly._

"_R-R-Ron," I sobbed again, "H-He's going t-to Sc-scotland!"_

"_What?" Ginny's eyes widened._

"_As-asked me to-to marry him. B-but I c-c-couldn't, Gin. I-I-I can't move to Sc-scotland!" _

_I knew Ginny probably made no sense of what I was saying, but that was all I could manage now._

"_He asked you to marry him and move to Scotland with him?"_

"_Y-yes!"_

"_But you couldn't?" she pried gently._

"_N-n-no!" I sobbed harder, "Th-then he… he… he," I broke down and crumpled my head into my legs._

"_He left?"_

_I nodded._

As I sat at the table and let this memory consume me I remembered how great a friend she was. I needed to go visit her soon. She just got back from a hard training session in Ireland. I suppose her and Harry were still "reuniting." Her and Harry were so close nowadays. He was sure to propose soon.

Merlin. The other "prefect couple." Harry and Ginny. At least they made it. We didn't. I know, I need to get over him. It's been three bloody years and I'm married to a different man. I'm trying.

Really.

Setting my glass in the sink I walk back upstairs. On the way back something in the living room caught my eye.

_Might as well._ I think as I walk into the dimly lit room and over to the mantle. On top of the mantle, in the dead center was what Viktor thought was my favorite picture of him and I. We were dancing at the Yule Ball back in my fourth year.

I had told him that it was my favorite because it showed us was back when we first met and we were both still getting to know each other – not knowing that we would wind up married.

In reality, it was my favorite picture for a different reason, completely. Viktor and I danced happily in the front left of the picture but on the right side, small in the picture because He had been in the background, was Ron. He was sitting at a small table with his arms crossed glaring at Viktor and I. I loved this picture because, even though this night ended with me crying myself to sleep, it is now obvious to me that Ron had acted that way out of jealousy. That he really liked me, even back then.

Sometimes, I have this horrible thought that I married Viktor to spite Ron – I mean Ron had so obviously hated Viktor. I remember that on the day of Viktor and my wedding, the press had insinuated just that. I was appalled at the small part of my mind that had said there was some truth in it. So appalled that I had convinced myself that I loved Viktor and went through with the wedding.

Now, I know that the anger that Ron might, _might_ have at me marrying him wasn't really as much as a factor to me marrying Viktor as was the fact that Viktor had always been there for me. He had always been willing to do whatever to make me happy. He hadn't moved to Scotland.

I brush off the little dust that I have let accumulate on my picture and set it back on the mantle. I sigh and return to bed. Viktor pulls my waist closer to him. I move around a bit to make myself comfortable.

Being comfortable is what life is all about, isn't it? Really bites that comfort is hard to find, to get, and to give.


	2. Chapter 2

**As Stupid As Me **

**Chapter Two: Understanding**

I wake up the next morning, well, kind of. I mean I didn't really go to sleep completely, but anyway, I open my eyes as my husband tries to sneak out of bed. Viktor was never really good at that.

Have I mentioned that this day really sucks for me? Yes?

"Morning," I tell him.

"Hermione, I did not mean to vake you up!" Viktor exclaims, smiling at me.

"I know," I roll onto my back.

"I vos just going to get ready for practice," Viktor walks into the adjoined bathroom and turns on the shower.

"You have practice today?" I ask, hoping that I don't sound to excited – if Viktor has practice, I can visit Harry and Ginny without the awkwardness that sometimes sets when Viktor comes. I really do need to talk to Ginny today. Viktor hasn't really realized that one, I'm always a little weird around this date and two, why I'm a little weird today, and three, at this date, I always go to see Ginny. Well, it has only been about two years that we have spent today together, so he shouldn't have caught on.

"I know, Hermione, it is terrible. A three hour practice on your day off," Viktor poked his head out of the bathroom door, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, I think I'll go visit Ginny," I tell him, "I'm going to go make eggs, toast, and bacon, sound good?"

"I love you," he smiles.

I smile back, hoping that it doesn't look like a grimace. Apparently, my "smile" satisfies him and he pulls his head back into the bathroom. I pull my warm, satin robe on, grab my wand, and stick it in my robe pocket. As I make my way to the kitchen my mind travels from Ginny, to Him, to if we have a filter for the coffee, to Him – oh, Merlin. Long day. Already.

In the kitchen, I wave my wand and the eggs and bacon fly from the fridge and into pans hat have arranged themselves on the stove. While they cook themselves, I pull the bread from breadbox, take out six pieces and place them in our toaster. Waving my wand again, the coffee begins to brew itself. I sit down at the table and put my head in my hands.

Three years ago today, I was…

No. I will _not_ think about this. Not now, at least.

I stand back up and look around at the kitchen, watching breakfast cook itself on my command. Sometimes magic wasn't that convenient, right now I had nothing to do in cooking to distract myself.

Actually magical cooking sometimes reminded me of Mrs. Weasley – she had taught me most of it, after all.

Oh, look. The coffee is ready. I take two green patterned cups from the cabinet and pour my husband and I a cup of steaming coffee.

"Smells amazing, Dear," Viktor says, making me jump.

"Viktor! Don't sneak up like that when I'm pouring scolding hot coffee!" I gasp as I set the coffee maker back in its spot.

I grab our cups and walk over and set them on the kitchen table. I look at Viktor – he looks confused.

Ah, I shouldn't have snapped at him, "Sorry," I lower my eyes, "I didn't sleep well."

"Are you ill?" he asks, concerned, as he makes two plates of breakfast. Two toast-bacon-egg sandwiches for him and one for me.

"No, just… tired." I say – not a full lie, I didn't sleep well and I _am_ tired.

"Then you should take a nap later," he smiles as he sets my plate in front of me and sits down in the chair across the table with his.

"Yeah," I sigh as I look down at my sandwich.

And I remember again.

Oh, boy.

He loved bacon sandwiches. I pick off the top piece of toast, the bacon is on the top, eggs on the bottom. He always hated it that way…

"_I made your favorite! Egg-bacon sandwiches!" Hermione announced as she set a plate in from of Ron. They were at her flat that morning; after a date last night, Ron had decided to stay. _

"_You know me so wel—" Ron started, but frowned when he lifted the top slice of toast away._

"_What's wrong, I cooked the eggs this time! I made it just like your mum!" Hermione asked._

"_Yeah," Ron said putting the top back on his sandwich, "I love it! Thanks."_

_Hermione rolled her eyes, "Just tell me what I did wrong."_

"_Nothing, they're great!" Ron protested._

"_You are a terrible liar."_

_Ron sighed, "Fine," he said taking the top piece of toast off again, "I just like it better if it's toast, bacon," he put bacon on the single piece of toast, "then the layer of egg," he moved the eggs over with his fork, "then another layer of bacon before the last piece of toast goes on." He finished._

"_Ron, you are so odd."_

"_No, it makes sense," Ron smiled, "this way, the egg juice doesn't make the toast soggy." _

"_Egg juice?" Hermione laughed as she sat down._

"_Yes," Ron told her, "you try it."_

"_Okay," Hermione rearranged her sandwich and took a bite._

"_Now, tell me it's not better," Ron dared her._

"_Fine, you win. The non-soggy toast is better." Hermione sighed as Ron grinned in triumph._

I smile weakly at my breakfast, then began rearranging it the same way Ron had.

"Vot are you doing?" Viktor watches me with an eyebrow raised.

"This way," I explain, "The egg juice doesn't make the toast soggy." I finish and look at my husband smiling.

"It tastes the same and is going to the same place, vot does it matter?" Viktor asks, clearly confused.

I frowned. I was probably reading too much into this, but Viktor not getting this small thing made me feel like he didn't understand, well, me. Viktor and I didn't understand each other the way that He and I had. But understanding was bound to come to our marriage with time, right?

"It matters to me," Hermione try to smile at him and took a big bite of her sandwich.

"Gin?" I walk out of the fireplace, "Harry? Ginny?" I brush the ash off my white t-shirt and look around the empty living room, "Normally, I would assume that you were doing something up there that I really don't want to see or know about and leave," I yell up the stairs, "but I need to talk to you Gin."

I sit on the couch and wait. I hear muffled voices then footsteps. I look up and see Ginny descending the stairs wearing one of Harry's shirts with her hair sticking up every which way.

"This better be really bloody important, Hermione." She mutters.

"Please tell me that I only woke you up," I ask.

"You did. It's only nine-thirty, I just got back from a training session, and I was up late last night. What the hell is so important that you need to talk to me about?" Ginny plopped herself down on the couch beside me and pulled her knees to her chest.

I look up the stairs apprehensively, wondering if Harry is listening, I don't want him to know that I'm so upset.

"Harry is, luckily, still asleep." Ginny read my question.

"Good," I sigh as I look back at Ginny. "Ginny, I really need you to be happy right now, because I can't."

Ginny's eyes show that she is now awake and concerned.

"It's June 13th, Gin." I say.

"Oh, Hermione. I'd forgotten!" Ginny exclaims sympathetically.

"Lucky you," I mumble a little to darkly.

"Hermione," Ginny starts.

I suddenly feel my throat closing, "I know. Really. It's been three years to the bloody day. And I'm married! I'm Hermione Krum, for Merlin's sake! KRUM!" I gasp, "Why can't I move on?" I burry my head in my hands, ashamed that one, I'm still so upset about something that happened so long ago, and two, that I'm losing it in front of Ginny, who has always been so strong.

Ginny shifts so that she is kneeling on her couch and takes me in her arms, "Because you loved him for so long."

"I wish that I didn't." I say quietly, "Gin, everything reminds me of him."

"I know," Ginny soothes as she hugs me. One of these days I really need to tell her what a good friend she is.

"Here," Ginny pulls away and I look at her, "I felt the same way when you guys left."

"What?" I ask.

"When you, and Him, and Harry left to find the Horcruxes? Remember how I was after he broke up with me at the funeral? That whole summer, I was miserable. Every time it stormed, I would get close to hysterical thinking about lightening-shaped scars," She laughed, "but, look. Everything is okay now."

How sweet. She was trying to cheer me up. Maybe she did kind of understand.

"Thanks. I keep hoping that will happen to me."

"It will. You have Viktor," Ginny smiled, "he'd do anything for you."

"Yeah." I say, but what I'm wondering is would I do anything for Viktor? "I just… I don't know. I think I love Viktor, I mean I love him. But then this day, or March comes and I start questioning things even more. And he has no clue at all…" I trailed off.

"Where is Viktor?" Ginny asks, "Practice?"

"Yeah."

A silence over took us, "Coffee?" Ginny asks. I nod.

We head into the kitchen and Ginny presses the button that starts the machine, "How do you make a egg and bacon and toast sandwich?" I ask her before I can stop myself.

Ginny looked at me as if I was crazy. Maybe I was, "Er… Well, I put toast and then a layer of bacon, and then the egg, then more bacon, then toast." She shrugged, "Why? Do you want one?"

"No," I say, "Viktor and I had them already. I was just wondering if you ate them the same way that He did."

"Viktor does that too? My mum would always –"

"No, Viktor doesn't get it. I tried to explain it to Viktor this morning the way that, you know – He – had explained it to me and he didn't get it." I interrupt her.

"Oh." Ginny said.

"Told you everything reminds me of him," I try to smile, probably not successfully.

Ginny doesn't say anything. Smart girl, knows when to stay silent.

"You don't think it means anything?" I blurt out, then mentally slap myself. Merlin, that sounded stupid.

"Of course it means something!" Ginny exclaims, my head snaps up, "I mean, well, duh. Viktor obviously doesn't like to layer his bacon on egg and bacon sandwiches!"

A smile tugs on the corner of my mouth, "You know that's not what I meant."

"I know, but that's all it means." Ginny shrugs.

"You can always make me feel better," I tell her.

"It's like magic or something," Ginny says as she brings me a cup of coffee. We walk back into the living room and sit down on the couch.

"Any plans for today?" Ginny asks.

"No."

"Great, then we can go to Diagon Alley. I haven't seen George in a while, and I need food for Arnold."

"The shop?" I ask uneasily, Ron wouldn't be there. He was still in Scotland, right?

"Yeah, George has hired three new seventeen year olds to help him during summer holidays, and apparently he and Katie Bell are really close now…" Ginny wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

I smile, "Sounds great. But as your friend, I suggest you change first and maybe brush you hair."

"You're just jealous that I look better in it than you would," Ginny smiled and pulled on her shirt playfully. We laughed and Ginny pulled her long red hair so it covered her face.

Her hair what was so much liked her brother's.

"That must be it," I say trying not to show the pain that stabbed my heart again.

"Hermione!" George embraced me tightly.

"You'd think she was your sister," Ginny huffed playfully, not knowing that, of course, it reminded me that I almost was. Almost.

"Sorry sis, but I see Hermione much less than I see you," George smiled and then hugged his sister, "How was training?"

"It was training," Ginny shrugged, "you were on Wood's team back at Hogwarts, just imagine him coaching professionally and there's my captain."

"Fun stuff," George said, "So what brings you two here?" George turned around and led them to the back of the store, behind a curtain and into what must have been some kind of office.

I looked around, it was a nice office... but it was also obviously George's. The office walls were covered in funny pictures of his family and Quidditch posters; books about experiments took up the space on the wooden shelves. Lastly, I noticed what must have been an experimenting table, it had to me, I mean it had burn marks and colored liquids all over it. I noted that in a frame on the corner of the counter was a framed picture of George (with both ears) and Fred as they poured liquid into a bowl and watched it explode. They turned to face the camera, their faces blackened and their hair sticking straight up. Hermione smiled, even though the picture made her a little sad.

"Can't your favorite sister and her best friend pay a surprise visit?" Ginny asked.

"Oh, I guess," George smiled as he sat in the cushioned chair behind an actual business-like wood desk and propped his feet on it, "but I have a feeling that you have run out of a certain product…"

"Well, the free pygmy puff food is just another benefit," Ginny grinned.

"And what is keeping you quiet, Hermione?" George asks.

I look away from the picture and at the actual George, "Nothing. Just tired." I lied again.

"I like that picture, too," George said, "helps me when I'm working on a new product."

What do you say to that? Nothing. I just stood there and smiled at George, feeling what I'm sure is only a small fraction of his pain.

"So," Ginny says, "how's Katie?"

George rips his gaze away from the frame, as do I, "How'd you hear about that?" he asks.

"I know things. I did grow up with you," Ginny says.

"I always knew we left an imprint on you," George says fondly, "and Katie's great. Had to work today. But I'm bringing her to the dinner the day after tomorrow."

"Dinner?" I ask, feeling a bit awkward being left out of the conversation.

"Oh, right!" Ginny exclaimed, "Hermione, we are having a big dinner at the Burrow the day after tomorrow, everyone's coming. Mum wanted me to ask if you and Viktor could come. She said you had to see her beautiful little granddaughter and Teddy is coming as he's spending a week or so with Harry starting tomorrow."

Oh, great. Something else to stress about and remind me of Him. Only now they wanted me to bring Viktor. "I don't know."

"Hermione, you don't have a choice. You and Viktor have to come."

"Everyone will be there?" I repeat.

"Save Ron," George says bluntly. Remind me to kick him. "He's still in Scotland. Can't even help me here that much lately."

I let out a breath, and seeing as I probably don't have a choice, say, "I guess I can drag Viktor there. I haven't seen Teddy and Victoire in forever."

"Great!" George and Ginny say.

Fifteen minutes and a bag of free products later, Ginny and I walk out of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

"He's not helping George anymore?" I ask.

Ginny looks at me, then deciding that she might as well answer, "He tries. But…"

"Gin, just tell me." What is wrong? Is he hurt? Oh, Merlin, he can't be hurt.

"Well, his work there is wrapping up and they need him more and more before it ends." Ginny says then looks at me as if I might explode.

"Great," I manage, "When does he come back?"

"No one knows," She says honestly.

I nod, "Well, Viktor will be home soon, I should be getting home."

He won't be home for another hour. But I just want to be alone right now. And I know that Ginny wants to be with Harry.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to come with you?" Ginny asks.

"No, but thanks. I really appreciate everything."

"Viktor and I will see you Sunday?" I offer.

"It's a date," Ginny smiles. I hug her and then apparate home. I notice that it's only noon. Maybe I should go take a nap. I am awfully tired.

Walking up to Viktor and my room I glance at the picture on the mantle again. It's become habit.

As I drop my bags on the floor of our room, I kick off my shoes and sit on my neatly made bed. I lay back and stare at the ceiling. Closing my eyes, my mind swims. Hopefully the dinner won't be so painful. Viktor will be there, maybe I can convince him to take me home early if it gets to awkward there.

I sigh again and turn onto my side. I pull a pillow off the top of my bed, I don't like that the maid always makes the bed so stiff. Bedrooms are supposed to be relaxed and stuff. Not painfully neat.

Closing my eyes, a picture of a small bedroom in my old flat resurfaces. It was never this tidy. I always had a few of His shirts on the floor and the bed was hardly ever made. I remember that when ever I tried to make the bed, He would always mess it up again saying that covers pulled up and tucked neatly only got in the way and reminded him of his mother, which turned him off. I remember how I used to laugh and He would blush.

_Tap, tap._

I roll over to my other side, only halfway aware of the fait noise.

_Tap, tap, tap._

I rolled onto my back, now awake. I look at my wrist and see that it is now almost three o'clock.

_Tap, tap, tap._

I open my eyes wondering what that noise is. Is Viktor home? No, that's too quiet. I sit up and looked to the window. Outside, was a small out flying excitedly with a letter tied to it's leg.

My breath suddenly caught in my throat.

It wasn't.

It couldn't be.

No way.

But it was.

With difficulty, I force my legs to stand up and walk me over to the window. I tell my arms to pull open the window. The owl flies in and lands on my shoulder.

At least he has learned something in the two years since I've seen him.

"H-hi P-pig," I stutter as the tiny owl holds out its leg to me.

**A/N: leave a review, PLEASE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**As Stupid As Me**

**Chapter Three: Waiting**

Pig.

Is on my shoulder.

I haven't seen this owl in what, two years? And here he freaking was. On the anniversary of our break up. How bloody convenient.

I shakily unroll the envelope from the tiny owl's leg. Pig, now rid of his burden, hoots happily and flies to rest on top of my wardrobe. I look at the beige envelope and barely took in the old familiar writing that read _**Miss Hermione Granger**_.

Great, he doesn't know that I'm married. So if I see him, which would be terrible enough, he'll assume that I'm single and… oh, Merlin.

My fingers trace the edges of the envelope as my mind struggles to think of what he could say in this letter. What he could think about me now. What he looks like now. Has he changed much in the two years in Scotland? I wanted to know.

Yet I couldn't open this envelope.

I jumped ten feet as the front door slammed shut, "Hermione? Are you home?"

Oh, no.

Viktor's home! I can't open this with him here; I have no clue what this letter has written in it.

"Er, yes! I'm in the loo, one second," invent as I do dash into the bathroom adjoined to our bedroom. I turn on the spot in a frantic circle, my bushy hair hitting my face. _What do I do, what do I do?_

Then it came to me. I stepped over to the cabinet over the toilet and pull out a bag that I keep my feminine products in. I smile as I stuff the letter in it, knowing that my husband learned after two weeks of marriage that opening, even touching, this particular bag brought upon awkward conversations. There was no way Viktor would even find out about the letter until I wanted to tell him.

I walk downstairs into the kitchen, where I found my husband examining the contents of our fridge. Without looking, I know there is nothing good in there; I haven't gone grocery shopping lately.

"Hey," I say as I walk into the kitchen, trying to be calm.

Viktor turns around and closes the fridge. His hair is still wet from the shower he must have taken before he left the Quidditch pitch, "Hello," he smiled as he walked over to me, "did you get to visit Ginny?"

"Yeah, we went to visit George's shop," I smile.

"Did you get any of those fireworks?" Viktor asked hopefully, he loved them.

"I wouldn't dare to return to you without them," I laugh, trying to act normal, yet still thinking about the letter.

Viktor walks over and hugs me, "I have missed you," he whispered.

"I haven't been away," I tell him. But I know that that is not what he is referring too. As I have mentioned before, this isn't the best time of the month; I always instinctively distance myself from Viktor a bit.

Viktor smiles and leans down to kiss me. I kiss him back. His kisses are always warm but not firey. Just sweet. His chin scratches me, he must have forgotten to shave. He pulls away, "I need to stop going to practices, I always miss you too much."

I smile up at him, feeling kind of guilty that I'm not being as romantic and sweet as he is. And that I'm thinking of a different man, and have been all day.

"I haven't gone anywhere," I smile.

"Let's go out. Vot do you say?" he asks.

"Where?" I ask, not really feeling like doing much more than crawling into bed, or reading a certain letter.

"Let's go to one of those muggle pizza stores," Viktor smiles, remembering that I loved pizza, "We can even get the banana topping."

I loved banana pizza. It was so good. On our honeymoon, I had made Viktor try in and I know that while he didn't like it as much, he ate it to make me happy. How sweet.

"That sounds wonderful, let me go freshen up. I took a nap and now I probably look terrible," I say.

"You never look terrible," Viktor laughs.

Ever since I married Viktor Krum, I feel like I have to look remotely decent when I go out. Well, that and the fact that I am one of the best friends of Harry Potter.

I walk into my bathroom and reach for the bag with the letter in it. Should I read it now?

_No._ I tell myself, I need to have a nice time with Viktor, the letter can wait until tomorrow. I freshen up the very little make-up I wear and run a brush through my hair, and decide to tie it back.

Finished, I set the bag with the letter back in its place and close the cabinet door. Sighing, I turn the bathroom light off and walk away from the letter and downstairs to my husband. I hadn't heard head or toe of Ron in two years; He would have to wait for a little while longer. As much as I didn't want Him too.

"You like the banana pizza, admit it," I tease Viktor as we enter through the front door of our house. I had been preoccupied all night; I hope that Viktor didn't notice.

"It is growing on me," Viktor smiles. I turn and smile at him giving him my classic 'I told you so' look. He leans over and kisses me, his hand on the small of my back. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back.

"Thank you for trying my pizza, again," I whisper.

"You know I vould do anything for you," he says and kisses me again, more passionately. As he deepens the kiss I notice how he still tastes of pizza. I forget about the letter for a whole minute until he reaches his other hand and cups my cheek. Then I realize that Viktor never plays with my hair.

He always did. This thought leads me to remembering the letter.

I pull away from him and he looks at him pleadingly.

"Vot is wrong?" he asks.

"Cramp," I invent quickly grabbing at my side, "it's, er, that time again."

Great, now I'm lying to my husband to get out of kissing him, or possibly more. I feel dirty.

"Oh," my husband answers, obviously disappointed.

I smile weakly at him, "I'm sorry."

He quickly covers up his disappointment, "Don't be," he says as he kisses my forehead. Now I fear the guilt is going to make me explode or something, "I'm tired anyway, I think I'll go shower and get to bed."

"Thanks for understanding, let me just grab The Bag out of our bathroom first, and –"

"I'll just take a shower down here," Viktor says quickly.

"No, I just need to grab my –"

"Hermione, really, go get some rest," Viktor tells me.

"Thanks," I kiss him quickly then head upstairs while he walks to one of the three bathrooms on the first floor.

I walk into our bedroom and then the bathroom, feeling extremely guilty that I just skived off my husband. For another man. Well, maybe not literally, but I feel as if I am.

I hear the shower turn on downstairs as I open the cabinet door. There it is. The Bag. The one the The Letter. I reach a shaky hand out and grab the bag.

Then I almost drop it into the toilet below.

Once I have removed the letter safely and replaced the bag in the cabinet, I walk into my bedroom and sit on the bed.

_**Miss Hermione Granger**_

I trace the lettering with my finger. The loopy, messy handwriting that I had "looked over" on countless essays and proofread too many applications for Auror schools.

And now. All I had to do was open the envelope, unfold the parchment, and read it. Turning the letter over and sliding my finger gently under the left I braced myself for the unknown. It slid across and the seal broke easily. Taking a deep breath I pulled out the folded parchment and with my hands shaking the worst they had been all day, I unfolded the parchment.

_Hermione,_

_So, I've been working up the courage and trying to find the right time to write to you for a while. I know things didn't… end well between us, but now that I'm coming home soon, I thought maybe we should at least talk? Right? I mean I know you still like Ginny and my family. They tell me that you are such a natural with Teddy and Victoire. _

_I won't be home for the dinner Sunday, I don't know exactly when I will be home, but soon. I'm so sorry I didn't write before, Hermione. And that I just left that night. I was wrong. _

_This is getting awkward to write now, so I'll stop. This letter came as a surprise, I'm sure. I can't wait to see you and the rest of my family. _

_Hopefully we will see you soon, Ms. Granger._

_-Ron_

As I finished, I reminded myself to exhale. The first thing that came to mind was that Ron didn't know that I was married. The other Weasley's had told him that I still visited them, yet had conveniently forgotten to mention the tiny little fact that I'm bloody married. I'm sure Ginny cunningly would force us together so that I would have to be the one to tell him.

Then came the realization that He had actually wrote to me. Why that came second, I'm not sure, but He still remembered me.

I told my heart to slow down; that it wasn't supposed to speed up and flutter for Him now that I was married. _Married._ I was married and hadn't seen Him in two years, yet he wrote to tell me he was coming home.

That scared me.

And made me feel like I could fly without a broom.

Then, guilty as I remembered Viktor, again. I hated that Viktor was usually the afterthought when it came to Him.

I distinctly registered that the shower had stopped running. I stuffed the letter under the mattress just as I heard a knock on the door. I smile, Viktor usually didn't knock, I mean it was his room too and it wasn't like he hadn't seen me naked, but he knocked as if her thought women dealt with their periods in the middle of the bedroom.

"You can come in." I tell him.

"I just wanted to make sure, you weren't… er..." he trailed off.

"Thanks, I usually do that in the bathroom, though," I explain as I stand up and join him at our wardrobe and pulled out or night clothes drawer.

I pulled out a long t-shirt and he pulled out a flannel pair of boxers. We don't speak as we change; I don't know what was on his mind, but mine was full of Him. So many questions flood my mind. Should I write back? was the main one. I probably would not be able to make myself do it.

I routinely make my way to the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face in my sink while Viktor does the same in his beside me. What is He doing now? Was he thinking about me?

_Is he seeing anyone?_ I choke on my toothpaste as that question surfaces. Viktor pauses and looks at me in alarm. I try to smile through my coughing fit and wave my hand to tell him I'm okay.

When I finally gain control of myself, eyes watering from the choking episode, i wash out my mouth and stare at the mirror without seeing. He couldn't be dating anyone else, right? Why would he?

_Because he might have moved on. Like you did._ My mind accused. I didn't really move on… well, I guess getting married might mean I did. I hate it when my rational side fights me.

But he wouldn't have written that letter if he had a, _swallow_, girlfriend.

Wait. What did that letter say again? I can't remember. I need to reread it. I have to look for signs that He might be with some other… girl.

But Viktor was in bed now. Waiting for me, his wife, to join him.

And I couldn't sneakily reach under the bottom of the mattress and emerge with a letter.

That might be a bit obvious. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

I've heard that this is something that people do to calm themselves.

I would just have to go to bed and read it in the morning after Viktor left for his pre-match getting-ready thing that the team does. Then I could read the letter, have time to decipher any clues, and still get to the box reserved for spouses of the Quidditch players to see Viktor's game.

All I had to do now was get through the night. I take another deep, controlled breath and turn the bathroom light off as I walk into the bedroom and climb in bed next to my husband.

I pull the covers up and Viktor puts his arm around me and pulls me closer. I feel his lips brush the top of my head, even through my incredibly bushy hair, "I love you, Hermione." He whispers.

Bring on the guilt. Again.

"Love you, too." I whisper, but not in the sweet way that he did. I did love him, so I hadn't lied. I just… I don't know. My mind knew that I didn't love Viktor with the intensity that I did – and grudgingly still might – love Him with.

"Mmm," he sighs. I wave my wand and the lights go off in the bedroom then set the wand on my bedside table.

_One spell and the letter would fly to me. _

No.

Even if I "accio'd" the letter to me, there is no way that I could read it without light, and Viktor would definitely notice that.

And I had already planned when to examine the letter.

Tomorrow: I know its not that far away, but I'm getting really tired of all this waiting.

A/N: REVIEW!

thanks


	4. Chapter 4

**As Stupid As Me**

**Chapter Four: Remember**

"Good luck, Viktor!" I wave from the living room as I watch my husband step into the emerald flames. He blew me a kiss then was gone. I collapsed on the couch behind me. Merlin, I was tired. I hadn't gotten any sleep last night. Again.

Stupid bloody letter.

Stupid bloody Weasley.

I laid my head back against the couch. I was going to wait a minute to make sure that Viktor wasn't coming back for something he forgot. Then I was going to run up the stairs and pick apart the letter. Like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Only I would feel guilty because I was married.

After five minutes of watching the now-orange fire, I walked – fine, ran – up the stairs and pulled the letter from underneath my mattress. I took it over to my desk in the corner and turned the desk light on. Sitting down I reread the letter.

_Okay,_ I sigh,_let's take this piece by piece. _

_Hermione,_

_So, I've been working up the courage and trying to find the right time to write to you for a while._

So he's obviously nervous. That could be good or bad… right? "The right time" uh oh. That could be bad. It could mean he was busy. Or that he had to get away from a girlfriend to write to me. My hand started shaking. But I wouldn't get worked up… yet. He could have been busy at work. He probably was, what with the program winding down.

_I know things didn't… end well between us,_

Well spotted.

_but now that I'm coming home soon, I thought maybe we should at least talk? Right? I mean I know you still like Ginny and my family. They tell me that you are such a natural with Teddy and Victoire. _

So he's coming home and thinks that we should talk. Then he mentions the family. Is that the only reason that he wants to talk? Because he knows we can't avoid each other? Or does he really want to talk to me? Deep breath, Hermione…

_I won't be home for the dinner Sunday, I don't know exactly when I will be home, but soon. I'm so sorry I didn't write before, Hermione. And that I just left that night. I was wrong. _

At least I won't have to worry about seeing him tomorrow. That's good. But I will have to see him soon. He says he's coming home soon. Why does my stomach feel all nervous? I hate this; I need to get over this. Anyway, nothing here suggests a significant other. He even apologizes for leaving! No, no excitement. Let's try that again. He even apologizes for leaving… how nice.

That's better.

_This is getting awkward to write now, so I'll stop. This letter came as a surprise, I'm sure. I can't wait to see you and the rest of my family._

Still good. No mention of girlfriend, fiancée, wife… And he can't wait to see me! … I mean and he can't wait to see me… how nice.

_Hopefully we will see you soon, Ms. Granger._

_-Ron_

Stop right there. "We" will see you soon. That's plural. Heart racing… that needs to stop. And the palm sweating.

Screw it, _he does have a girlfriend!_ My mind races. I feel dizzy.

Wait. Let's look again. Deep breath.

_This is getting awkward to write now, so I'll stop. This letter came as a surprise, I'm sure. I can't wait to see you and the rest of my family. _

_Hopefully we will see you soon, Ms. Granger._

_-Ron_

Okay, so he does say "we" right after mentioning his family. His family is a "we," right?

But then again, why would he speak for them. I mean they can tell me. He must know that. He must have a girlfriend. Or a fiancée, or, worse, a _wife!_

_Just like you have a husband_, my mind reminded me.

Okay, so I have a husband. That doesn't mean that he's allowed to have a wife. It makes since. I swear.

Then a new panic sweeps through me with a new question: _should I write back?_

He never said "write back."

But he might be expecting one nonetheless.

Yes, I should write back and at least acknowledge that I got the letter. Okay.

I pull a spare bit of parchment from one of the desk drawers and bring out my quill and ink.

_What the hell am I going to write?_

I slowly unscrew the top of my ink so that my shaky hands won't spill it everywhere. That wouldn't be good. Viktor would surely notice a huge ink stain on the carpet.

_Viktor._

I groan as my mind reminds me that I should tell him. I mean he can't stop me from writing, can he? Even if it is to my ex-boyfriend that I left Viktor for once.

Actually, as much as he would want to stop me from writing to him, he wouldn't. He would trust that I was just writing to a friend and nothing more. He wouldn't voice his jealousy or say anything except, "Great that you to are still in touch!" Then kiss me to remind himself that I'm his wife and Ron's nothing.

And that reaction would probably make me feel worse than if he threw a fit and said there was no way any wife of his was going to write to her ex-boyfriend.

Yes, that second reaction would definitely be preferable. At least then I would feel less guilty writing to Ron.

And that makes no sense but that's the way it is.

I set the ink bottle down and pick up my quill. It takes three tries but I finally fit the end of the quill into the ink well. I'm about to pull it back out when I hear a crash from downstairs.

I drop the quill into the ink and freeze.

Who's in the house? I grab my wand from my pocket and tiptoe out of my bedroom to look over the railing to see who is in my house. Living room from the sound of that crash. I peer over the banister as I hear my name being called.

"Your father just broke that vase we gave you last year!" calls my mum. I put my hand over my heart and take a deep breath. Leave it to your parents to scare the magic out of you!

"Coming!" I call as I start down the stairs, sticking my wand back in my back pocket and recovering from my mini heart attack.

I walk into the living room and find my mum and dad standing over near the fireplace by a small table that used to have a nice vase they had given Viktor and I as a house-warming gift.

"Hey, mum, dad," I greet them. They turn around, my dad smiling apologetically.

"Hey baby. Sorry but that flew powder stuff still makes me a bit dizzy and I just fell onto the table," my dad explains as I give him a hug. Since I worked at the ministry, I had pulled some strings and got my parent's fireplace hooked up to the floo network so that they didn't have to drive hours to visit their only daughter. Now I was just a fireplace and a few broken valuables away.

I smile, "No problem," I take out my wand, "_reparo!_" The vase repairs itself then resumes its previous position on the table.

My mum shakes her head, "Still amazes me," she mutters, "So, did you forget about our little date?" she asks me before I can ask why they are here.

Curses! I had forgotten that I was taking my parents to Viktor's match today!

"Sorry," I think it's best to be honest, my mum can always tell when I'm fibbing, "there's been a lot going on lately."

"So, are you still up for the match, then?" my dad asks, "Because you do look a bit tired, baby. We could go if you want to get some rest. Those damn ministry officials need to stop working you so hard!" he narrows his eyes.

I laugh, "No, dad, I'm fine. Just haven't been getting the best sleep that's all,"_just like I never do at this time of the year,_ "I was just on my way to the game, actually. Let me run up to my room and grab the passes and my purse and we can get going."

My parents nod and I hurry up to my room. I rush over to my desk, shove the parchment back in the drawer, take the quill out of the ink well, wipe it off, shove it the drawer, screw the top the ink back on, and throw that into the drawer.

So much for replying to the letter.

I go into the bathroom and run a brush through my hair then tie half of it up. I quickly apply a bit of eye makeup before grabbing my purse and returning to the living room to meet my parents who were staring, again, at the "amazing video picture frames" that were on top of the mantel.

"Ready?" I ask. They turn around and nod.

"Are we going to squeeze-travel?" my dad asks excitedly.

"Apparate?" I chuckle, "Yeah, I'll take you first, dad." I walk over to him and hand my purse to my mum.

Holding out my hand I remind him to hold on very tightly, "Ready?" I repeat.

Dad nods enthusiastically. I concentrate on the spot in the corner of the VIP box and spin on the spot.

Five minutes later, my parents and I are happily in our seats at the front of the box. I wonder distantly if Ginny and Harry will come. They, and all of the Weasleys, have an open invitation to the box.

As the star seeker's wife, I can get as many seats as I want.

"When will the match start?" my dad asks, already looking through a pair of ominoculars that I had bought both of my parents so they could keep up with the fast pace of the game.

"In a few minutes," I answer, "They're lining up down there."

I loved taking my parents to magical events. Especially after what had happened when I have eighteen with the final battle and having to send them away, I appreciated my parents a lot more than I had ever before.

And watching them gape at magical items, spells, and games was just plain humorous.

"Patience is a virtue, David," Mum says.

"A virtue that you well know I do not possess, Jane," Dad teases her back.

Would Viktor and I ever be that way?

Would He and I have been that way?

I shake my head, I will_not_ think about him now.

"And they're off!" calls a loud voice that must be the commentator, "And Puddlemere United takes possession of the quaffle! Hale – Reedley – Bainsfeather – Reedley – oh, nicely placed bludger by the Bulgarian beater, Reuther! Now in Bulgarian possession, it's Grovitch – Buckheight – Grovtch – Thrak – Buckheight, who shoots anddd…. Puddlemere's keeper, Oliver Wood, makes a fantastic save! This is his fifth year playing for this team, and man are they lucky…"

Dad is on the edge of his seat, ominoculars pressed to his face. Mum is watching patiently. I ignore the commentary and look around for my husband. I pull my own ominoculars out of my purse to better my search and I finally find him. He's circling the pitch concentrating on finding that little speck of gold that will usually win his team the game.

I flashback to a match at Hogwarts where I was watching my two best friends playing the parts that Oliver and Viktor were occupying now. Well, like that only they were on the same team.

I remember watching Ron dive for the ball and groaning as he missed almost everyone. I remember the look on Harry's face that I barely saw as he zoomed by, the look that said "Dammit" while still looking for the snitch. I remember the party in the common room that night after they had won the game. I remember Ron's depressed look and him saying that he should just quit and save Harry the trouble of kicking him off the team. I remember…

Well, I remember Ron… and that's what really sucks.

After Viktor caught the snitch and we won, I took my parents down to the family waiting section to wait for Viktor to come out of the locker rooms. Their captain never gave them a speech after the game; he waited until the next practice which was spent entirely going over, in detail, what was good, bad, up, down, backwards, etc. in the match.

So within fifteen minutes Viktor was walking towards us, smiling, with what little hair he had soaked.

"Congratulations, Viktor!" Dad grabs Viktor's hand in both of his and shakes it vigorously.

"Thanks, Mr. Grang—"

"Viktor…" Dad smiled, he hated it when Viktor called him Mr. Granger.

"Thanks, David."

David gave Viktor a nod.

"That was fantastic snatch!" Mum exclaims.

"It really was, Viktor," I smile and move closer to him; he puts his hand on my lower back.

"Thanks, Mrs… Jane, Hermione," Viktor replies.

"Now, let's go celebrate! Dinner's on me!" Dad practically yells. He loves treating Viktor and I to dinner and other things like that.

"Let's do it the muggle way, though. That way it's easier," Viktor asks.

Dad's face falls the tiniest bit, I know he was probably looking forward to seeing the magical pub again. Yet, Viktor knew that taking my dad to a pub full of wizards was probably way more stressful than trying to find the snitch in the middle of a blizzard after three days of playing a match. Viktor was sacrificing celebrating with his teammates and leaving me to deal with my parents and instead going to a muggle restaurant with us.

Yeah, he loves me. I smile at him, while inside… well, I'm not smiling.

"If that's what you want, than that's what we'll do," Dad says.

"And we're splitting the bill," Viktor tells him as we start to a clearing to apparate.

"Good try," Dad laughs.

"We can apparate to our house and David can drive us to this small Italian restaurant a few miles away," Mum suggests.

"Sounds great, Mum, here I'll take Dad and you go with Viktor."

I know that dad finds it awkward to hold Viktor's hand, even though I always get a laugh out it…

Viktor smiled at me, took my mums hand, brought it to his lips, then spun and was gone.

"Hurry Hermione, before your husband woos my wife," Dad laughed taking my hand and closing his eyes.

Dinner with my parents was surprisingly uneventful. My dad told some corny muggle jokes that Viktor didn't get but laughed politely anyways. The waiter asked what the occasion was and we made up something about a promotion. Then, since apparently this Italian restaurant was feeling celebrative, they brought us a free dessert to celebrate the "promotion." So that was fun.

So when Viktor and I finally said goodbye to Mum and Dad and they left in their car, I suggested that Viktor go the pub and celebrate with his teammates for a bit, as I was sure the party was still going. He was reluctant, but I insisted knowing that it would make him happy.

And that maybe I could then work on my letter.

And find something to put my guilt in. Maybe it would fit in a bubble the size of a small-country. I'll look into that.

So he apparated to the pub and I apparated home.

And now I'm sitting at my desk staring at the letter I had written for Ron. Here's what I had so far.

_Ron,_

I know. I'm really productive.

"Hermione!"

I look up, sounds like Ginny, "Up here!"

The door opens a few seconds later, "Hey, 'Mione," she announces, "What are you doing?"

I had laid an open book on top of my letter to Ron, "Nothing. What are you doing?" I ask, standing up and giving her a hug.

She throws herself onto my bed, "Just dropping by. I was bored."

I lay down beside her, "Where's Harry?"

"Out," she says shrugging.

You see, if you didn't know Ginny you wouldn't know that she was evading the question. She was so good at making her invasive answers sound like it was nothing that it took me nearly a year to be able to tell the difference.

But now I know. And I now know where Harry probably is and who he is with.

"Helping him pack?" I whisper.

Ginny turns to her side to face me, "How'd you know?" she asks softly, all care-freeness gone from her voice.

I sigh. Might as well tell her, "He wrote me."

"When?"

"Yesterday," I tell her, "I got back from the shopping trip and Pig was waiting at the window."

"Oh."

We fall back to our backs. Staring at the ceiling I have to ask the question that's been bugging me since I read the envelope, "Why didn't you tell him, Gin."

"Tell him what?"

I turn my head to give her that 'you know' look, "That I'm married."

"Oh. That." She sighs and sits up. I follow suit.

She turns to me and I see her chocolate brown eyes are troubled, "I couldn't do it," she says, "and neither could anyone else. After the fight he was so…" she stops and plays with a loose thread on my comforter.

I swallow, trying my hardest not to cry… again, "Did he… did he ask about me?"

Ginny looks up, "Hermione…"

"The truth, Gin."

"In every letter." She vows, "and I just knew it would crush him. I didn't know how long he would be there." She explains softly.

I nod.

"And… it just wasn't my news to tell."

I nod again.

She was right. She shouldn't have been the one to tell him. I should have. But there was no way in hell I was going to what… send him an invitation to our wedding? Ha.

Looks like this mess was mine, meaning I was the one that had to clean it up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: As Much As He Loves Me**

"Hermione, which one?" Viktor asks from our bedroom. I snap a gold necklace under my hair and poke my head out of the bathroom.

Viktor is wearing his nice jeans and holding up two collared shirts: one a light brown and one maroon, "Brown, it brings out your eyes," I comment, smiling at him. He smiles back, places the maroon shirt back in the wardrobe and begins to put on the brown one.

After Ginny had left yesterday, I had been really… muddled. So, I sat down and tried again to write the letter. I had gotten a good bit written; it was almost done. The only part I was struggling with was how to tell him that I was married. To Viktor Krum. As of now, both letters were safely in The Bag in the cabinet close to where I was getting ready for the Weasley Family dinner.

I examined myself in the mirror. I had somewhat tamed my bushy hair so that it wasn't taking over my head. I was wearing jeans and a nice red shirt with a v-cut neck. The dangling golden earrings, one of the many presents Viktor had gotten me for our first anniversary, sparkled in the light and matched the necklace with a lion pendant that hung delicately around my neck. I had always loved this necklace, for some reason that I'd forgotten (probably because it symbolized Gryffindor), so I wore it whenever I got the chance.

"My shoes are downstairs, I'll meet you down there," Viktor called into the bathroom.

"I'll be right down," I answered. My stomach turned nervously.

Why was I so nervous? I had done this plenty of times over the years.

_Ron's coming back_.

My mind reminded me. But he wasn't coming to the dinner. So, really, I had nothing to be nervous about, right?

I sighed, turned the light off as I exited the bathroom. I stuck my wand in my back pocket and closed the bedroom door behind me.

"You look so lovely, Hermione," Viktor smiled as I walked down the stairs to join him in the living room.

"Not so bad yourself, Mr. Krum," I smile.

Viktor kisses my forehead, "Ready to go?" he asks.

I nod and turn on my heel. A second later take a deep breath of fresh, "Burrow" air. The air at the Burrow was different. It was relaxing and made me feel at home. I just loved the smell of this place.

"Smells like chicken," Viktor appears next to me, wrinkling his nose. I open my mouth to say something defending the smell I loved, but I closed it deciding that it wasn't worth it. If Viktor didn't like the smell of the Burrow, that was his problem.

He slips his arm around my waist and we walk up to the door. I take a deep breath and raise my hand to knock when the door swung open, "Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley greets happily grabbing me from Viktor and pulling me into a tight hug. I hug her back, taking in the home-y, cooking smell that always lingers on her clothes. I subconsciously longed to smell like that. To have little red-haired babies running around a small country house while I cooked dinner and my husband chased the kids, acting just like them. I tore myself from these thoughts when the man that played my husband in the dream began to be undoubtedly clear.

I was with Viktor, and if we had kids, they would _not_ have red hair.

"I'm so glad that you could come!" she smiled when she released me, "and you too, Viktor." She added politely. Viktor walked into the house and pulled the door shut behind him, "Thank you for inviting me."

I noticed how he said 'me' not 'us.' I guess he, too, felt that_ I _didn't have to be invited to the Burrow in order to show up. Once again, guilt coursed through me.

"Any time, dear," Mrs. Weasley says, "the everyone else is in the sitting room," she turns and hurries off to the kitchen.

I take Viktor's callused hand and pull him into the adjoined, somewhat crowded room.

"Auntie 'Mione!" cries a blue-haired, brown-eyed toddler. Teddy jumps from Harry's lap and runs over to me, I drop Viktor's hand and bend down. I catch Teddy and lift him into the air, he laughs.

"Hey, little man," I smiled at him. What can I say, the four-year-old's smiles are extremely contagious. Like the plague, I swear.

"I miss you," he pouts.

"I missed you, too," I laugh, "Hey, everyone." I switch Teddy to my right side to wave to the present Weasley/Potters.

They stand up, and I walk over to give Percy a hug, "Haven't seen you in a while," I comment.

"I know, you look beautiful by the way, Hermione."

"Thanks, Perc," I set Teddy down and greet Percy's fiancée Penelope, Katie, George, and Harry. Viktor does the same and then we all sit down, Viktor and I take an unoccupied couch.

Teddy taps my knee, "Tori's not here yet," he says.

"I'm sure she'll be here soon," I tell him. He frowns and runs over to Harry, who swings him into his lap.

"Gin wanted to talk to you, gave me strict orders to send you into the kitchen when you arrived," Harry told me.

"Thanks," I stand back up, look at Viktor, who smiles telling me it's okay then walk out of the room.

"Gin –" I call, but am cut off as I'm pulled up the stairs, "What the –" I cry as Ginny comes to focus.

"Shh, she'll hear us!" she scolds.

Okay, I'm seriously confused as to what Ginny would have to pull a covert operation to tell me, "Everything okay?" I ask.

"Yes, yes," she waves me off, "but I have a huge favor to ask of you."

I freeze. Wait, I _do_ know what, or who rather, would make her act all secretive, "Please tell me that this doesn't have to do with Him!" I beg her.

To my immense relief, she shakes her head, "Merlin, Gin. What do you need to be all top secret about, then?"

"Do you think that you can get off work tomorrow?" she asks.

Tomorrow's Monday… that's usually a slow day, they can live without me, "Sure," I answer.

"Can you please, please, please babysit Teddy for me tomorrow? Harry has to work and my captain just called an emergency meeting before practice!"

I smile; I love babysitting Teddy, "Of course I will. But I still don't get why this had to be done in a dark stairway."

"Well, you see, Teddy's grandmother, who is in the kitchen with Mum, is pretty protective of him, and if I tell her that Harry or I won't be with him every second, she gets apprehensive and will probably insist that he stay with her tomorrow, and Harry and I really want to see him more, so," she tries to explain, "I'm sure that if I told her you'd be watching him she'd be fine, it's just I don't want her to worry or anything. She doesn't know you like we do."

I nod, "It's fine. I'd be glad to watch him, what time do you need me to get him?"

"Would you want to kill me if I said seven in the morning?"

I laugh, "That's fine, it's later than I'd have to get up if I was going to work."

"Thanks, 'Mione," she hugs me.

"Anytime."

Ginny and I made sure that Molly didn't need any help before we returned to the sitting room. Bill's family had arrived and I could not believe how big Victoire had gotten. She had glossy strawberry blonde hair and pale blue eyes. That little girl was going to be a heartthrob when she grew up. She and Teddy were busy playing with a miniature Quidditch team in the middle of the room. Those two got along so well.

The kids' Quidditch game led to a discussion of professional Quidditch led mainly by Viktor and Ginny. I was grateful for a discussion that Viktor could participate in without feeling out of place.

Arthur came home from work, saying that he was just checking on a few things, and dinner began. It was a nice night, so the tables were set up outside. Viktor pulled out my seat for me and I sat down beside Ginny.

The food was levitated onto the table by Molly, Percy, and Teddy's grandmother while the men took their seats and the other women sat down. Teddy and Victoire insisted upon sharing a chair instead of sitting in separate high chairs and tired, Fleur and Ginny gave in.

"This food is amazing, Mrs. Weasley," I said, loading my plate with more steak and kidney pie.

"Thanks, dear." She smiled.

"Yeah, I just wish Ron could have been here, this was one of his favorites," Bill laughed, as he wiped Victoire's mouth.

I froze as soon as Bill mentioned His name.

"Yeah, too bad he had to stay another day or so, he really wanted to come," Percy added.

"Oh, Ron is coming home?" Viktor asked nicely, though I noticed his hand under the table form a fist. I play with my engagement and wedding rings. It's a nervous habit of mine.

By now, I was having a nice little panic attack. Okay, so I could play like I didn't know, right? As long as no one else knew about the –

"Hermione didn't tell you?" Mrs. Weasley asked puzzled as she turned to me, "Didn't Ron write you a letter?"

_Dammit._

How did she know? Why did she have to say something? I felt dizzy. I'd been caught hiding something from my husband. I noticed how everyone's eyes turned to me. I knew that Ginny was nervous, without looking. I also knew that Viktor was puzzled and maybe a bit angry that he had been somewhat humiliated in front of the Weasleys. I knew that everyone else was curious. And I knew that I had to many emotions to contain.

The last thing that I remember was looking over a Ginny and seeing her eyes widen in horror. Then I fainted.

"I think she's just stressed or tired or something," Ginny was saying, "I'll sit with her."

I heard a door open then close. I felt the bed, maybe? move as someone sat down.

I opened my eyes the tiniest bit to see if it was someone I could stand to talk to in my new humiliation. It was Ginny. That was good.

"Gin," I whisper.

"It's okay, I'm the only one here," she tells me.

I open my eyes all the way and see that I am in Ginny's room, "Oh, Ginny!" I cry as I sit up. My head spins and I blink a few times.

"Lay down, Hermione," she orders. I shake my head.

"No, I can't. Ginny, how did your mum know?" I feel tears beginning to surface, "How mad is he?" I choke.

"He's pretty upset, Hermione. He just left. Barely said a word to me," Ginny tells me truthfully.

Tears are now leaking out of my eyes. I throw the covers off my legs, "Why did he do that! Why would Bill even bring him up?" I almost yell.

"It was rather mean of him, I'll admit. It's just…"

"What, Ginny, by Merlin, just tell me!" I stand up shakily; I was so upset. My husband was mad at me, I was mad at myself, I was mad at Bill, and Mrs. Weasley, and Percy…

"I think that they believe that you and Ron should be together," Ginny admits.

I fall back onto the bed in shock, "What?" I gasp, "So my marriage to a different man isn't enough to convince them that we aren't going to be together?"

"I didn't say that it made sense, Hermione, I just said that it's what they believe."

"Well, it's stupid! I'm married, Ginny! Married! To Viktor! I'm bloody Mrs. Hermione_Krum_! I love… I love…" Ginny looks at me raising an eyebrow, "I love Viktor." I say.

She nods, "Exactly."

What does she mean by that? _What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?_ I want to yell at her. But I don't. I just put my head in my hands and cried. Ginny put her arms around me, "'Mione, Viktor is waiting at your house. Go home," She whispers, "you two need to talk."

I nod and lift my head, "I know we do, I just don't know what to say!"

"You'll figure it out. Go talk to your husband."

I stand up, "Thanks, tell them…" I stop. Tell them what? _'Thanks, guy, for bring up my ex-boyfriend in front of my husband and possibly ruining my marriage! I really freaking appreciate it!' _Note the sarcasm.

"Tell them…" I try again then sigh, "tell them whatever the hell you want to tell them." I finish angrily as I apparate home.

Viktor isn't in the living room. I walk up the stairs, looking in various rooms as I pass. I slowly push open the door to our bedroom. The light is off, I turn it on.

Viktor is sitting on the foot of the bed, leaning over so his elbows are on his knees. He doesn't turn to face me. I bite my lip nervously. I slowly walk over and sit down next to him. He doesn't move or acknowledge me in any way. This isn't good.

"Viktor?" a whisper, my voice cracks. Great, more tears.

He just sits there, staring at the floor. I stand up and walk into the bathroom. Turning on the light, I take The Bag out of the medicine cabinet. I remove Ron's letter to me, but leave mine to him in The Bag. I put it back in it's place and stand right in front of him, clutching the letter. I hold it out to Viktor. For the first time he looks at me. His brown eyes are sad.

"I'm sorry, Viktor. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have hid it," I say, knowing tears are running down my face smearing my makeup all over my face, "I should have told you. I was just so surprised. This was the first time I've talked to him in three years. And I didn't even talk to him. He wrote to me. That's all, I swear on my copy of _Hogwarts, A History_ that this is all. This is the only letter or form of any communication between us."

He doesn't break our eye connection the whole time that I'm apologizing. When I finish and wipe away my tears with the hand that is not holding the letter, he takes the letter from me. He crumbles it in his fist and tosses it to the side. He gives me a sad smile then pulls me into his arms. I sink into them as if I'm bathing in forgiveness. I sob into his shoulder, completely ruining his brown shirt with mascara tears.

But I know that he doesn't care.

He loves me. Even when I hide a letter and am dishonest, he loves me enough to forgive me.

I cry harder when I realize this.

I wish with all my being that I loved Viktor this much. But, as I sob into his shirt, in his forgiving arms, I know that I don't love him nearly as much as he loves me.

A/N: Hey, guys! Thanks for all the reviews! i'm glad you like this story! I know, now is where the drama starts. haha.

REVEIW!

love you guys


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